Ahhhh dating apps. The bane of my existence and unfortunately a necessary evil in this day and age.
To set the stage, I've never been in a serious, long term relationship. And I'm actually really okay with that as I'm able to live my life totally for me. Yeh for sure it would be nice to have someone in my life, but the more I try dating apps, the less and less faith I have in dating, and in masculinity in general.
The world of dating apps is a murky one at best. The concept of aimlessly swiping through people, based solely on how they look in photos just doesn't sit nicely in my gut. Don't we grow up being taught to not judge a book by it's cover...... yet isn't that exactly what dating apps are all about?
But that's only one of my issues with these apps. My main one is the overwhelming prevalence of toxic masculinity. It's so fkn hard to be female. We're told to be skinny, but not too skinny. Told to be curvy but only in an impossible Kim Kardashian-esque way. We're told to stand up for ourselves but be careful because men might be intimidated by our loud voices and our ambition. Told to be flirty but god forbid you sleep with multiple different people because hello slut. And you were definitely asking for it because your skirt was above your knee but you're not allowed to wear a full length skirt or not show some cleavage because that would be matronly.
Got a migraine yet? Just you wait.
There's two completely different sides of the game. You're either looking to settle down, or you're looking for a quick bang. Me- I sit somewhere in the middle.
So the other night, I was on Hinge and I swiped right to someone who swiped right to me and we started chatting. In a classic toxic masculinity move, he unnecessarily escalated the situation from 0 to 100 way too quickly.
So I remembered meeting this guy, and at no point do I think I would have ever given him the vibes that he somehow was picking up. He had a girlfriend for christ's sake, and they were all over each other.
But like- case in point of a guy thinking that because a woman deigns to look in his direction that she wants him.
Like honestly, settle babe. You had a shot and it crumbled.
He tried again the next morning, and I replied after a day of sitting on my thoughts and wondering if I should reply with a sassy as hell GIF, or if I should give him a feminist lecture.
And I can report, that he talks a big game but doesn't know how to back himself up. Because a week on I've not gotten a response yet.
Yeh for sure there would have been some girls who'd have taken what he was saying and rolled into an Uber-X and out the door on the spot. Sadly for Hinge boy, that was not me. Especially not on a random rainy Monday night.
Good luck on your quest Hinge boy. And good luck me.